Man I miss Ed and, even though I chat with him on-line, it seems like I haven't talked to him in ages. I know this is a great opportunity for him and I'm really glad he left to pursue it, but I still miss him so much. He's 'on' with me, we share so many of the same references that it leaves a huge hole when there is no one to return my serve.
For a young man, he gives unbelievably sage advice and presents a calm perspective that many times I just don't see. He's like a son, a Nephew, and a great friend all rolled up into one. If I did have a son, I'd wish for one like Ed, (maybe in a state where incest is legal - kidding!).
Everyday I slip into my pretend professional life and turn into this person I don't recognize, the guy in the suit and tie driving to Rochester. I suspect they're on to me, who am I to make these decisions and tell them what to do? Anyway, during that drive I am on the line between these two very different people as I listen to the music that is so very powerful for me. I'm glad I'm one of those people who is profoundly affected by music, it can move me like little else. While I'm in this vulnerable borderline state, tears come easily to me as I reflect on the words and emotion of the songs I hear.
Ed doesn't really like the song "Human" by The Killers, "Are we human or are we dancer?" Ed is annoyed that dancer is singular here. That makes me smile and laugh every time I hear it, and it makes me melancholy that I'm not hearing him say those words and laugh about it with me. Then I listen to the words and, ironically, they are very much in line with Ed leaving.
"And sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door, close your eyes, clear your heart...cut the cord."
"Wave goodbye wish me well...you've gotta let me go."
"Will your system be alright when you dream of home tonight? There is no message we're receiving let me know is your heart still beating."
I miss you Ed and I cried for you today.
